Dear No One

 Note: I was going through my files today and I saw this. Thought of posting it. :)

 

Dear No One,

It’s the second to the last day of the year and I’m here lounging on my couch typing on my computer while the TV is on and I can’t understand what I’m watching listening because my neighbor’s TV is even louder than mine. I don’t have any idea why I thought of writing you a letter. I’m not even sure if I’ve already met you or haven’t. I think I’m just doing this to pass the time or maybe subconsciously I know you’re somewhere out there waiting for me too, aren't you?

Anyway, I don’t know how I’m going to introduce myself to you. Most people tell me that I tend to be the simplest yet most complicated (at the same time) person you’ll ever know. I know for a fact that I’m not bipolar, but sometimes I’d like to think I’m one to justify my insanity. I want to give you a heads up, I’m not the sweetest woman in the world, and I know this to be true. My idea of sweetness is not cuddling, nor texting sweet nothings, for me being able to compose a decent and brief text to you on a mundane day is considered “sweetness”. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m just not used to intimacy, maybe that’s the reason I’m not so eager to meet “someone”. No gray area for me, it’s either black or white. I am in a constant battle with and against myself. I am either very sweet that I could kill you with diabetes or I am the most insensitive person in the world. I tend to bottle up everything and then just throw them away. I don’t warm up to anyone easily. You have to crack me up, or climb these walls I made for myself. If you’re brave enough to do so. You’ll be delighted to know that it’ll be worth it. So please don’t give up on me so easily.

My ideal Friday night is not going out and having rounds of drinks. Yes, I can drink like a 50-year old trucker but I don’t do it often. I just drink when I have something that’s bothering me. What I typically do is stay at home, wear my PJs and just read, write or watch TV. It’s something that I rarely do these days. I have this crazy schedule.  But before you think that I’m a celebrity or this big corporate woman… I would stop you on your tracks. I’m just a mere IT programmer in a manufacturing company. It’s a man’s world, the IT industry. But I love being in it. It’s like saying to the universe that it’s not just for you guys, it’s for us women too!

You can say that I’m a dork or nerd because of the things that I do or I like doing. Admittedly I am. But as usual, I’m not the typical dork. I’m a dork in high heels. I love dressing up! It’s the thing that I enjoy the most. I love cramming or racking my brain up and down to come up with a great outfit combination. If I’ll be able to get a compliment with what I’m wearing, I feel like I’m up in the air. But don’t let this façade fool you, I am way more than that. I can spew useless trivia, and I have the ability to inject these trivia in any conversation. I am talented like that. And I am also very much updated with what’s happening in the world, did I tell you that I’d like to think of myself not as a citizen of a country but of the world? And because of this, I breathe for traveling. I want to see and experience the world. My ultimate bucket list is to visit at least 50 countries before I succumbed to the inevitable oblivion.

No one, I hope you picked a thing or two about me. And I hope you’ll still want me after all this. I hope to see you someday, if not in this lifetime maybe in the next.

Kriann