Rebecca Black's New 'Moment'

A friend of mine posted a link to Rebecca Black’s new song on Facebook. The video’s flooded with relentless bashing and hate comments. I’m not a fan of Rebecca Black or her music but I don’t go around telling people that. I just don’t get why people hate her so bad. I know for sure it’s not because of her song, or songs for that matter because there are lots of kids/teens in Hollywood that are as talented (or lack thereof as most people think) as her. They say she’s way too auto-tuned, but isn’t half of the artists in the world of pop music?

After watching the music video, I called my nieces (aged 7 & 8) for their opinion on Rebecca Black’s new song (yes, kids are my reliable sources, they are very honest with their opinions), they say they like it better than Friday. They liked Friday actually, they’re kids and would want any song that they’ll be able to dance to. One of my two nieces said that she liked the songs but won’t admit it to her friends because they won’t talk to her because they don’t like Rebecca Black also because their older sisters or cousins hated her. The other one said she like the songs and she’s not ashamed to admit it. In fact, she asked me to visit and film her, she wanted a music video of her own too.

Even after asking my nieces I still haven’t figured out why almost everyone on the internet hates Rebecca Black. I start to think maybe people don’t really hate her, maybe they’re like my niece they just won’t admit it. Or maybe it’s because she was just an ordinary girl who wanted a music video of her own and became an internet sensation eventually. Let’s admit it, it’s every regular teenager’s dream: to be famous for something, anything. (I’m no longer a teen but I still have that dream. ☺) It just so happen that her music video on youtube went viral and made her famous (or infamous).

I’m not an expert, no one died and made me one. But for what’s it worth I think her new song is a level-up from the last one.

PS Posting on the web that you hate her won’t make her any less famous/infamous. In fact, it’ll even make her a trending topic.

Que Pasa?

What do you wear when you’re meeting your dad for the first time after a very long time? Don’t ask me how long, I can’t tell you, I lost track a long time ago. Anyway, he called my brother yesterday and asked us to join his family for a Sunday luncheon to celebrate my half-brother’s 7^th birthday. Just like that, as if nothing happened, as if we never lost communication. I have lots of questions in my mind right now like “why now?” ”Why didn’t he call me instead?” But I reflected on those and I’m just thankful that we decided to put our differences aside and we'll just sit together for a meal as a family. I hope it goes well, I really hope so. I may not have hinted this before to anyone but I’m really looking forward to the day that we’ll be seeing each other again. Where everything’s well and we’ll just talk about anything but the fallout. I’m not the type of person that dwells on the dark parts of my life, as much as possible I try to get over it and just move on. I’m a firm believer of the phrase “everything happens for a reason”.

I haven’t seen him in a very long time and I don’t know what would I feel or how would I react when I see him again. Cry? Smile? Laugh? If I’ll have any control of my emotions, I would like it to be a mixed of the three, shedding some tears of joy I suppose. I will never cry, it’ll totally look like a full on chick flick. If I’ll laugh, I’d look like a crazy person. Maybe I’ll just smile, play cool. Whatever! Come what may.

I don’t know what got into me but I really want to dress up. I know you’ll all say that my outfit should be the least of my concern, there are other important things I should concern myself about, like how will I do my untamed hair, or should I wear lipgloss or lipstick. Am I right? No? Really, those are not important stuff? How come? Anyway back to me wanting to dress up. Maybe it’s a daughter’s instinct, maybe I want to show him how I’ve grown up and changed since the last time we saw each other, or maybe I just want his approval. Just maybe. But I already kind of have an idea why I want to dress up. I want to divert my attention, I don’t want to think about the meeting itself because I’m afraid I’d jinxed it and screw up.

Seriously, what do you wear on that kind of day? I really need your help. This is so much worse than meeting a guy you’re dating’s family. Is it?

I use my smartphone for...

Most people use their smartphones for “smart stuff” like emails and all the other business-y stuff that smart people or people just pretending to be smart do. I on the other hand rarely use my smartphone even for calling and texting. I rarely text because I’m just not a fan of it, I find it really exhausting. I only make calls every once in a blue moon unless it’s an emergency, and I also rarely answer my calls since it’s perpetually on silent mode and I’m asleep most of the time when I’m not at work. I use my smartphone not for the phone features but for the applications, I solely use it for entertainment purposes.

Twitter.

Übersocial is the most overused application on my phone. I’m not a twitter addict. No! Never! I can go for days without tweeting, I just love reading the tweets of the awesome people that I follow. And you know there are lots of things happening on twitter. And there are loads of hilarious people on twitter too. It is also a very special place, where regular people become celebrity and celebrity becomes regular people.

Facebook.

Not a Facebook addict either, I don’t go updating my FB status every 10 minutes like most people do. Seriously people, it’s Facebook not Twitter! If you want to update your status every 10 minutes or less get a twitter account. Like twitter I used Facebook to get “updated” with my friends’ lives. With Facebook I don’t have to ask my friends anything. They simply tell me who they’re dating, what they’re doing, what they’re dating and who they’re doing. See? It’s like my very own E! channel.

NY Times Crossword.

I’m not being a smartass here. In fact, I rarely never get the whole puzzle. Sometimes I just get 20 words and 10 of those were filled because of the hint button. But I still love doing the crossword puzzle, makes my brain think or think of ways to cheat. Nevertheless it’s one of the reasons I charged my phone’s battery when it’s drained.

Hangman.

I love playing Hangman, it was the game my best friend and I used to play when we’re having our Math class in high school. Having it on my phone makes me reminisce all the fun I had playing the game. I play it on my phone all the time, but I only play two categories: Geography and movies.

Magic 8 Ball

I make decisions in my life basing on the magic 8 ball’s answers. Kidding! No, I don’t let a virtual ball decide my life, silly, I have an actual magic 8 ball for that. Hahaha! No, it’s definitely not true. I just ask the magic 8 ball for some senseless questions. It keeps me company especially when I’m bored waiting for my shrink’s appointment. If you’re asking why I’m seeing a shrink it’s because of my excessive use of the magic 8 ball. Makes sense right?

Marked Up

I really want to have a tattoo. I've been meaning to have one since I was in college. But I'm just too scared: scared of my mom freaking out, and scared of me freaking out when I see the needle. Do they use more than one needle? I've no idea, but I know a single needle is enough to scare the hell out of me.

What do I do? I guess I'm stuck with temporary tats for now till I get over my fear of needles and till my pain tolerance levels up.

Do you have tattoos? What is it? Or if you want to have one what will it be?

PS Again I'm fully aware that I have no readers and I just want to pretend that I have. Got a problem with that?

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

My Guilty Pleasures

Candies.

It’s just right that I put them on top of my list. M&M’s, Toblerone, Cadbury, Jelly Belly, Skittles are my favorite in the world! I don’t care if I’m not PMS-ing. (I read somewhere that chocolates are good for you when PMS-ing, they prevent cramps and headaches during your periods) I eat them on a regular basis. I’ll have them for breakfast or dinner. Not for lunch though, I rarely do lunch. Why I don’t do lunch? That’s an entirely different blog post.

Sleeping.

I need at least 7 hours of sleep a day, if I don’t get that much sleep say hello to Miss Cranky right here. I sleep a lot, and by a lot I mean a whole lot. I can sleep the entire weekend, only leaving my bed to pee. If wearing diapers were classy, I would’ve gladly worn one that way I don’t have to get off from bed.

Books.

I love ‘em. I used to have a vast collection of books but there are just some friends that don’t know how the concept of returning the stuff you borrow works. So, I’m only left with half of what I used to have.

Reading Gossip Sites.

I am so not proud of this but if some people need a cup of coffee in the morning to start their day, this is what I do. I want a cup of Josh Duhamel with a teaspoon of Zac Efron please. And I also want to stay updated with the lives of my celebrity girl crushes and secretly wish I’m one of them too. A girl can dream, right?

Shopping.

This is one guilty pleasure that I actually feel guilty after doing. I used to shop impulsively and when I get home I beat myself up for buying stuff that I don’t actually need or want. Just because they’re on sale doesn’t always mean that you have to buy them.

Sex and the City.

This is borderline comfort and junk food for my soul. I can’t get enough of these girls ladies and the city. I can relate to each one of them. I’m Carrie, with a teaspoon of Charlotte, a tablespoon of Miranda and a dash of Samantha.

Writing.

When I feel sad, I write, when I feel happy, I write. In fact I don’t have to feel anything to want to write. I write all the time. I keep a little notebook in my purse to write my thoughts or just anything. I’ve got tons of write ups back home which consist of unfinished stories, notes to myself, senseless and pointless whatever. Name it I have written it. Re-reading those stuff made me realized two things. I’m really bad at writing poems and I have neat and really good penmanship.

What are your guilty pleasures? Please share them.

PS I am definitely aware that I only have 5 readers who rarely comments. But I just love pretending I have lots. It’s my blog anyway, I can write whatever I want.

Felices Compleaño Mommy Lory

My mommy Lory is the one in red, with her signature glasses. These are her "paparazi shots". Hahaha

Today is a very special day, it's the birthday of my mommy Lory, my maternal grandmother. My mommy and I can't stay in a room without arguing but I love her no matter what, and I know she feels the same for me. Mommy is old-fashioned when it comes to raising kids, I happen to know this because I've lived with my grandparents from second grade till I graduated high school. There were lots of rules in the house that needed to be followed. No TV after dinner, lights off at 9 during school nights, practice playing the piano after school and weekends, no partying, no hanging out with friends after school, no slouching and the list goes on... Some of these I sort of followed but I think it is normal for a teenager to rebel. I sneaked out of the house every chance that I got, I read inside my closet with a flashlight after 9PM so that she won't notice any light from my room. I make up school projects or anything school related just so I can get out of the house at night and hang out with my friends. During those years all I ever wanted was to get out of high school and start college right away just so I could be free.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't living a Cinderella-like life before she met prince charming, in fact it's the opposite. I was showered with love and care by my mommy, my grandparents tried to give me everything that I needed and wanted. They paid for my school trips, trips with my friends to the city, and all the stuff that my mom won't buy me because it's not "necessary". I didn't realize all the things she did for me. In my teenage mind my definition of freedom is hanging out with my friends and partying with them as often as I want.

Looking back, I thank my mommy for everything, for all the things she did for me. I thank her for teaching me how to play the piano. For the summer and Christmas vacations, for all the fashion advice she gave me. Did I tell you that she was and is still a good dresser? My mommy dresses up even when she' got nowhere to go. And all the other "trade secrets" she told me. I know I won't be who I am today without her love and guidance.

I miss my mommy so much, I only see her once or twice a year but even when we rarely see each other, we still argue. I think that's just the way we are.

I love you mommy Lory! Happy 78th Birthday.

Qs & As

I'm not in the mood to write something sensible here. I just want to share with you some stuff I read from one of the blogs I follow. I try to answer the questions like I am on an interview, or not.

Name: Kristin Ann

Where you’re from: A little coastal town in the Zamboanga peninsula in the Philippines, called Margos.

Sexuality: Straight. But I have quite a handful of celebrity girl crushes.

Sex: Female.Age: 26, there I said it!

Biggest Passion: I love reading, but I think know that I love writing more. It is what I always wanted to do when I was kid. I would write poems, no not poems, I suck at writing poetry, I would just write about anything, but not poems. I’ve written plays that we got to perform at school, and my most prized possession was the typewriter that wasn’t even mine. Well, it was my aunt’s but I kept on borrowing it from her that it made its residency at my room official.

Biggest turn on: I have quite a fascination for men with glasses, I’m attracted to men who look smart and are really smart. When I see a guy who has his glasses on, I would melt. But I draw the line between sexy geek and just plain nerd looking.

Single/Taken: Single. I am very single, don’t ask me for how long I won’t tell you but it is longer than you expected. The reason for this I think is that I have “single forever” tattooed on my forehead. I don’t plan on being single forever but I just don’t want to settle for the douches hanging around.

Biggest dream: I have lots of dreams. I want to be a published writer, I want to write a book and actually published it, I also want to be the next editor of Vogue (when are you retiring Anna Wintour?). Host my own TV show. Be a rock star and win a Grammy, be an actress and you guess it right… bag an Oscar for acting, and screenplay. Tour the world, mostly Europe. And live in NYC.

I’ve no idea how am I going to make all these happen, but I’ll be happy if I just get to live the last one. I’ve been dreaming of New York ever since I first laid my eyes on a NY postcard. I would kill to be having coffee on a Sunday while doing the NY Times crossword in a teeny tiny coffee shop in Manhattan, and I would take the blaring sirens at night and take the subway just to be able to live in New York.

Favorite colour: White, black and gray. My closet is forever on a winter mode, though we don’t have winter in this part of the world.

Favorite drink: When I started watching Sex and the City I didn’t have an idea what Cosmopolitan tastes like and why Carrie and her posse loved it, but when I got to try it, it was love at first sip.

Favorite type of music: Alternative rock and some pop songs, but definitely no boybands.

Favorite band: The Script

Favorite singer: Natasha Bedingfield and Adele

Favorite tv show: Sex and the City, I always see myself hanging out with them, the younger versions of them or the older version of me hanging out with them.

Favorite actor: Hugh Grant. I love British guys, they look so dapper and dashing.

Favorite actress: Audrey Hepburn, Helen Hunt.

Favorite movie: Breakfast at Tiffany’s, A Love Affair

Favorite books: Wuthering Heights

Something random: I am good at packing. I can pack and still be organized even though I only have 30 minutes to pack for a week’s trip. And I’m also addicted to NY Time’s crossword puzzle app on my phone.

A Long and Senseless Post

Do you ever wonder what if you were a teenager and you know the things that you know now? Do I make sense to you? No? Let me just make this clear.. What if you had the chance to write your adolescent self a letter? What kind of advice are you going to tell him/her? If I could do that I think I'm going to give my 16-year old self a lot of talking to!

Dear 16-year old me,

You might be wondering who I am and why I am writing you. If I told you that I am the future you, will you freak out? Or you just might think that you are getting punked? I know you are so hard to convince so just choose whatever you want to believe. But I'm telling you again one last time I AM THE FUTURE YOU AND YOU ARE THE PAST ME, GET IT?

Anyway, let's get back to the real reason why I'm writing you, I wanted to give you some valuable advice. And please, please do everything I say. It'll help you A LOT and will make your life a lot less miserable, not that I am in a miserable place now.

1. Never ever forget to bring your credentials during your university enrollment if you don't want to hear your mom rapping the whole time. Trust me it's not a good thing. Never will be.
2. Don't let the university dictate you on what course you should take, don't take Business Economics, you won't learn a thing and you'll eventually shift to another course. Take Gen Ed instead better yet take Communication Arts you are so gonna love it.
3. Avoid a guy named Charles that you'll meet through a block mate, he's bad news for you. What the heck, go ahead... don't listen to me.. he'll be the greatest thing that will ever happen to you (that's what you'll think. But thinking about it now, not really. What was I thinking?)
4. For god sake learn how to swim! You are the only person now that doesn't know how to swim.
5. Start learning to eat veggies, you are so gonna love them that you'll be thinking on becoming a vegetarian, but you will fail. :-)
6. If you think you are having too much fun in college, don't worry about it you'll still graduate on time.

Well, I guess I've said everything I need to tell you... I'm not really sure if this is all it. But don't worry you'll get out alive and you'll get the first job that you'll apply for so I guess you'll be fine.

PS please stop wearing those baggy jeans... I hate to say this but THEY DON'T LOOK GOOD ON YOU! I don't care if their the biggest trend, you look like a string bean wearing a sack!

Love,

26-year old you.

Got Carrie-d Away Again

I've been writing a lot these days, but not here on my blog. I've been doing a lot of freelance writing. Unfortunately, my first writing gig was a disaster! They asked me to write 15 articles about this diet program and compare it with the other one and write about 10 title variations for each of the 15 articles. Normally, I don't have a problem writing about a certain topic but if you were asked to write fifteen, 1-5 articles, and about dieting?! You'll probably reach your limit and drain your brain. Not only that, after writing the articles they didn't pay me a single cent! What a sham! Good thing I found a different provider that pays well and their projects are really interesting and they only asked me to write an article for a certain topic. And I'm never been happier with all the topics he/she gave me. I still haven't figured out what's his/her gender is, and I am too embarrassed to ask.

I love doing freelance writing as it hones my writing skills, and as you all know I've been aspiring on becoming a writer. Watch out world Carrie Bradshaw in the making here! Ha!

Speaking of Carrie Bradshaw, I spent the weekend reading the Carrie Diaries and wishing that if they turned the books into movies the producer will specifically ask for me to play the young Carrie Bradshaw. I just haven't figured out how are they going to know about me. If you have any idea, anything... please let me know. I seriously need them to know about me so that my dream of becoming the young Carrie Bradshaw will not just be a dream. I am dead serious.

I also watched the premiere of Drop Dead Diva season 3, and again made me wish I'm part of that show too! I could be one of the lawyers of Harrison Parker law firm. I'll be a great and very fashionable lawyer, I'll probably topple Jane Bingum over! But I know that thought is so far out, so I'm just secretly wishing I were Kim Kasswell. I don't know but I have a soft spot for uptight, hard-hitting, alpha females. Ironic. I know. That's me.

Anyway, I have to end this entry as I don't have any idea where and when this might end.

Not as Hard as it Seems

When you are facing a problem no matter how teeny tiny it is we automatically say "Life is Hard", but it isn't always. I tell you if life is really hard you won't have time to enjoy the little things around you, you won't have time for yourself and for sure you won't be reading this post.

I'll tell you what really is HARD.

1. Taking a sleeping pill and trying to stay awake, it is just as hard as
2. Drinking Red Bull and trying to get some sleep.
3. Swallowing and sneezing at the same time (Not that I tried this before but just thinking about it I know that it'll be hard)
4. Chopping some onions without crying your eyes out. (They say there are ways to prevent eyes from tearing up while chopping. Trust me, I tried every way there is and failed every time.)
5. Doing what Heidi told Lauren on The Hills on how to get rid of hiccups "drink water upside-down with a pencil in your mouth"
6. Admitting to quoting Heidi Montag.

If you haven't experienced any of these on a daily basis yet. It's safe to assume that life is not really that hard. It may not always be M&M's and Jelly Beans or whatever it is that makes a person happy, but it is worth living.

Last Friday Night

I heard this song a few months back but it didn't strike me. Recently, I saw the music video of the song and I don't know why but the song is etched on my brain and I know for sure that it'll be there for quite some time.

This song got me thinking, not really the reflective kind of thinking as this song does not really scream reflection, if you already heard the song you know what I mean. What if I wake up on a Saturday morning and I got no recollection of whatever happened the night before? I will be damned! And the only thing that will somehow jog my memory are the pictures from the night before that somehow made their way to Facebook, twitter or wherever. And my family have those apps on their smartphones. Just like what Katy Perry said on the song "I'm screwed".

I'm sure as hell that my phone will be bombarded with text messages and missed calls from my family and I am pretty sure my mom will take the earliest flight out of our province to the metro and knock some sense to my pounding head.

It's not that I dreamed of getting really drunk. But I admit sometimes I wanted to push my alcohol limit so that I would know how would I be when I get soooo drunk. But often times I end up getting cold feet because the still sane and sober part of me rules my almost drunk brain. And I remember this one time that I pushed my limit, the day after I spent it on bed, with my pounding brain, stomach flu and the daylight was piercing my eyes. After that day I swore that I'm never drinking again. But hey, I'm not the one that keeps her new years resolution and you know what that means.

What's your Friday night story?

Dorkerella

- books -

These are some of my books, I have plenty of them. I am a self-confessed bookworm, a dorkerella if you say so. I am and will never be ashamed of being one. When I was a kid I prefer books over toys, I was such a nerd. Still am. I love reading books as they're able to take me to places I've never been and feel emotions I didn't know I am capable of feeling. I am somehow like Ron (Harry Potter), I got the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Jelly Belly for Brekky

- breakfast -

I had a really healthy breakfast today, the breakfast of the champions. Or not. But hey, I had milk so it still healthy, right? But the star of today's breakfast is the box of Jelly Belly! They're my lovelies! :-)

Hottah! Hottah!

- clouds -

Today's a very humid day, been praying for rain for the last couple of days. If only I knew how to do the rain dance I would've danced it. It's a little cloudy but it doesn't change the fact that I am melting! It's scorching hot! Still feels like summer when in fact it's supposed to be the rainy season already. We only have 2 seasons here in my country wet and dry season (3 if you count the "cold" season which is not so cold by the way). They looked like rain clouds but I think they're just pretending to be one because it didn't rain today, at all.

Spider Legs

-Hands-

I'm not being too confident here by telling you that I have pretty hands, believe me I really do. My hands are the envy of many. (Whoah! Did I really just write that?)I often get compliments because of them. Again not being over confident here. See for yourself.

OK the photo didn't really give my hands justice here as you can only see my long fingers looking like thin, spider's legs. But they're still pretty, right? :-)

Writing with a Purpose

I've spent almost my whole shift looking for online writing jobs. So far, I am so far from finding one. I didn't think that it would be this hard. I've been writing, if you consider blogging as writing then I've been writing for over 5 years now. I have no problem writing about anything, everything. Hence, the title of my blogger site Anything, Everything Under the Sun. But I admit sometimes I tend to run out of topic to blog about.

Most of the time my blog is just a word salad, I spew words and I try as I could to mix them into somewhat a decent post. My style of blogging is reflective, I blog about the things that happened, and will happen to me. I also blog about my opinions and observations regarding certain things and that includes my neighbor's cats or my trusty ballet flats. I am a shameless blogger, I blog about even my deepest, darkest secrets. When I come to think of it, they're not so deep nor dark at all but nevertheless.

I've been looking for online writing jobs not because I am jobless, which I'm not. In fact I've been working for over half a decade now. It's just that writing is one of my passions. I am into writing as much as I am into sleeping. And I need to get at least 7 hours of sleep a day, see the picture? And aside from writing being my niche, I heard that they also pay well. A little extra income won't hurt and will come a long way.

So please help me in anyway if you have any idea or a gig for me. I am more than willing.

Eh-Shoes-Me

- favorite shoes -

If I have to pretend that I'm elegant and fab, I'll show you a picture of my "favorite pair". This pair is only my second favorite because they are high heeled and as you know I have this really weak ankles. I average at least 3 ankle injuries a year, so it's really hard for me to walk in these babies for a day. And if I had to, like yesterday, I packed my flipflops with me so I can just slip into them whenever I feel that I've been tortured by my pretty shoes.

But since I try being honest here, I'm going to show you my true favorite shoes, my trusty pair of ballet flats. This pair may be the least expensive among all my shoes, in fact my flipflops are even more expensive than these super comfy flats. But I'm not the person who only wears or have favorites basing on the price alone. I pick favorites based on style and comfort. These flats are my go-to shoes, I love wearing them everyday that's why they look so worn out now.

Moi

-Self Portrait-

This was taken this afternoon before my mom, brother and I went to Sky Gardens for coffee and dinner.

30 Day Photo Fun

I want to do this photo fun thing because can I get more obvious? It would be fun! You don't need to be a photographer to do this and you can just use your crappy camera, DSLR, SLR or camera phone. Whatever works for you.What's important is you take the photos needed for the day. You may take the photo for a certain day on the day or a day before but you can't use old photos.

June 1 - Self Portrait

June 2 - Your Favorite Shoes

June 3 - Hands

June 4 - Clouds

June 5 - Breakfast Today

June 6 - Books

June 7 - High Angle

June 8 - Sunset

June 9 - Fresh Fruit

June 10 - Animal

June 11 - Silhouette

June 12 - Sun Flare

June 13 - Reminds You of Childhood

June 14 - Someone You Love

June 15 - Action

June 16 - Mason Jar/Jelly Jar

June 17 - Bokeh

June 18 - Eyes

June 19 - Summertime

June 20 - Water

June 21 - Micro (Up Close)

June 22 - Landscape

June 23 - Black and White

June 24 - Love

June 25 - Citrus

June 26 - Favorite Color

June 27 - Your Weakness

June 28 - Transportation

June 29 - Trees

June 30 - Family

13 Things I Don't Like #2

I'm only on the 2nd of the 13 things I don't like but I'm already running out of ideas. It's so hard to make a list like this when you like almost everything! At the top of my head the 2nd on my list will be....

#2 Waking up early/or before the alarm goes off

I'm definitely not a morning person! I could stay wide awake all night every night if I had to, but I just can't wake up early. It's a surprise that I still get to work on time when I'm on the morning shift. It's hard for me to wake up early as I don't like going to bed early, and I don't know how other people get by with just at least 4 hours of sleep, but I just can't. I need at least 7 hours of sleep. Also I don't like waking up before the alarm goes off. Alarm clocks were invented for a reason, right? Let them do their jobs. Like this morning I woke up at 4:23AM and my alarm's set at 4:30. 7 precious minutes of sleep just went down the drain! I ended up resetting my alarm to 4:50AM and so I had to rush my bathing and all just to get to work at 6AM.

Each night before I go to sleep I keep telling myself to literally get up when my alarm goes off to not rush, but no matter how I coach myself I just don't have the willpower.