Everything is Not as it Seems

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you feel that you will do anything and everything just to get it? I have, or should I say I had. I wanted this "thing" so bad the moment I heard and learned about it. I tried my best just to have it, I spent nights learning things that are relevant for that matter. I competed against myself, and outdid myself eventually.

It culminated yesterday, I got that "thing" that I've been dreaming of for weeks. And I've never been disappointed in my whole life. This "thing" that I thought was everything... well it wasn't. It's not everything I thought it would be, not remotely close. And today, I've decided to let go of it. Not that I don't want any challenges, I overcame many just to lead to this day. But it all dawned on me that it isn't worth it.

I don't have regrets doing what I did, because I'm a believer of "everything happens for a reason". I just learned that even our biggest dreams aren't flawless. Fulfilling a dream doesn't guarantee happiness. Sometimes maybe oftentimes, it's just all about the hype. We are blinded by our wanting to fulfill that dream so bad so that we can prove to ourselves that we can do anything that we wanted.

Lesson learned.. Moving on...

Have a good day everyone!

An Open Letter to Kareena Kapoor

Dear Kareena,

I'm Kriann from the Philippines. I am a huge fan! The moment I laid eyes on you on my TV screen while watching 3 Idiots I instantly fell under your spell. Then I googled you and watched all your films. I even watched all your TV guestings even when most of the time I only understand bits and pieces of the whole conversation.

But what must one do to catch your attention? To let you know of my existence? Especially for someone that lives timezones away from you? Someone who only knows a handful of Hindi phrases? So, I put on my thinking cap and these are the ideas that I came up with:

I thought about faking my identity and tell you that I'm the Philippines' presidential daughter. But that won't be possible as our president is the most eligible man in the country. He doesn't have a daughter that the country knows of. I would be putting myself at risk if I told you that. Risk from being kidnapped and/or being chased by the local authorities for constructing lies about the president's life.

I also thought of playing the sick and dying card, but that's just sad and at the same time difficult. What if you bought my story and it reached the media? Sooner or later you'll all be wondering why my health isn't deteriorating or worst why I'm still alive? I just can't stomach that, that's just too low even for a fanatic like me.

Then I thought about going the Hugh Grant way in Notting Hill: pretending to be someone from a magazine. It's much easier than any of my other options. I used to write for our school paper in high school and college, so I could just easily wing it. I could make a mock magazine in just a couple of hours. I think I could get away with it.

I could actually do everything that I have thought of. But I didn't. No matter what option, I would still be deceiving myself and especially you, and that I can't take.

So, trashing all my "brilliant" ideas... I just settled with writing an open letter to you. Pray that someday, somehow it will reach your hands. One day when I get to visit your country, you would invite me for a cup of coffee, or tea, or water or whatever. I don't really care, as long as I will meet you in person. But for now, I'll just settle for you and me having an animated conversation over a cup of coffee in my head.

Dreaming to be your friend,

Kriann