I’ve been thinking of a topic to blog about (if you think that I’ve already thought of something that’s why I’m writing this entry… well, you got it wrong!). In fact, I have nothing in particular. I have some topics in mind… but I don’t think I would like to write about it. As you all know I’m not a serious blogger. Err.. Honestly, I have nothing, as in NOTHING in mind, being not-a-serious-blogger is just an excuse. I just want to write whatever that comes to my head.
Let’s see… the first thing that comes to my mind… (Wait, I can’t think the TV’s too loud let me lower the volume first). Work? Nope, I have spent most of my time on it, and if I’m going to write about it. I am pretty sure I’ll throw up. Scratch the thought Kristina! Oh my, I think it left me with nothing to talk about, as my work eats up 90% of my waking time. I just hate times like these: 1) when I want to write but I can’t think of a topic and 2) when I think of a very interesting thing to blab about but I’m just too lazy to write it down.
Anyway, I already told you a hundred times that I would really, really want to quit my job. But it’s just so hard for me to do. It’s like a bad habit that’s too hard to get rid off. I just can’t turn my back on my officemates that became my closest friends already. And my work is like my world for the past 2 years+. Work is fine and the pay is good, but I don’t want to settle for fine, I want to have adventure and everything that comes with it. I want to do something that I really want and being an IT is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, maybe not in this lifetime.
If you were in my shoes would you rather have yourself stuck on something that you don’t want because it gives you security and it pays the bills or do something that you really want even if you have to start from scratch? I am a very impulsive person, but when it comes to my job… I always chicken out! Not that I have mouths to feed, and I’m afraid I would starve them because I don’t. I’m just afraid that time would come that I’ll be knocking on my mom’s doorstep and asking her to feed me again because I fell for my dreams/adventure that became nightmares and misadventures. I just wish that I’m a child again so that I’ll have someone decide for me, and spare my self the worrying. But you know what, even as a child I always (often if not always) decide for myself. My mom always tell me that I want to do things my way. And most of the closest people I know would agree with her. I used to think I’m headstrong but now I don’t know what I am, neither what I used to be.
Sigh. Being an adult is really a tough job! I only wish making decisions is just like singing “Eeny meeny miney mo - catch a tiger by his toe. If he hollers let him go. Eeny meeny miney mo.” I fervently hope I’ll have the courage to decide what I really want to do with my life. (so help me god)
P.S. I just barfed, it's because I just talked about work. See? I told you I would throw up! Just kidding! :p
