I need to write this down, I don’t want my memory of you to fade. I want to forget about you, but I don’t want to forget this subconscious memory I have of you. I know I’ve told myself way too many times that I can’t want you anymore. Just too many complications. But each freaking time that I have decided to let go of you, I think I am under your spell. You always give me a reason to hang on just a little bit longer. But now, I can’t be persuaded by this sorcery anymore. I have decided that I will forget about you, if we are meant to meet again someday then well and good, if not then all the same.
Last night, I had my last hurray
of you in my mind. I thought about how it would be if we ever meet again, I had
the perfect scenario in my head. But I didn’t get to the part where we actually
meet, I fell asleep as it was already past midnight I guess. Then the
unthinkable happened, I’m not sure if I already mastered controlling my dreams
but as it turned out, I dreamt of you, of us, together.
We were at the workplace, you
were sitting next to my workstation. Then you asked me to come with you and
show you around the metro. And I did. I took you to places that I think you
would enjoy seeing. You took my hand, it fits perfectly with yours and you never
let it go. We went to the beach, we walked in the park and we even met my mom
and her sister and I introduced you to them. I felt very happy at that moment.
It was like my dream came true, although it only came true in my dreams. I will
always remember those beautiful eyes of yours, staring directly into mine. Your
long lanky fingers interlaced with mine, I will always keep those memories with
me. And that perfect smile plastered on your face, it will be etched in my mind
forever.
I don’t know why I dreamt of you,
it may be my subconscious giving me a closure. And I will gladly accept it,
because I have decided that it’s time to move on from you. Thank you for the
memories, for the late night to early morning conversations. And for everything
that you shared with me, it will be kept forever. Thank you for letting me feel
everything that I felt with you, be it good or bad. It is a proof that I am
still human and can still feel things unlike the robot that I think I become.
This will be my goodbye, as much as I hate to admit it, know that I have loved
you. Till we cross paths again.
