Funny Instructions

Got this from my mail today and I just feel like posting it here...


Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Back Track...

I was browsing through my old files and I saw this, I remember this was my first post on my friendster blog. This is a product of boredom... :-P

CRAZED...

I didn't really think I'd meet Prince William in person. Last month, I walked into the courtyard of Buckingham Palace with the wind whipping my carefully brushed hair into a bird's nest. The day was cold and damp, with the chill sneaking through the layers of wool, linen and cotton.

We walked past an arch guarded by a pair of beefeaters. Or Bobbies, I think. I'm not sure which they were. They’re the guys on London postcards pictured next to historic buildings--red uniformed soldiers standing at attention with foot-high fur hats sitting on their heads. They do not move, they do not speak, and they stand like statues against the buffeting wind. Very, very good looking statues. I would have taken one home if I thought he would fit in my hand carry.

We gave up our coats, mittens and scarves to the staff in the cloakroom, and were led into a big, airy hall filled with people in suits chattering and shaking hands.

And there he was. William. Tall, blond with serious blue eyes and a quiet smile. I could feel him watching as I shook people's hands. When i turned around, there he was, leaning against the wall across the room.

He tapped the shoulder of a man beside him, asked something, and gestured to me. The man answered, and William nodded his thanks. I thought he was going to walk towards me but he seemed to hesitate. Finally, he walked towards me. The room was suddenly silent.

“I'm sorry”, he said, “I know it is against protocol, but I couldn't just stand there and wait to be introduced”.

I swept into a graceful curtsy.

“I'm Kristin Ann, highness. From the Philippines”.

“I knew it was you!” he said triumphantly. “I apologize, it is not like me to be so demonstrative.” I raised my eyebrows. I wish he would get to the point.

“...but it's not everyday that a man meets the girl of his dreams.”

Whoa. i take it back. Slow down, you're going a little too fast.

“ Pardon, your highness?”

”Not 'your highness' to you. William. Call me Will.” he took my arm and steered me over an alcove, away from prying eyes. Possessive already. Not a good sign. I made a mental note to let him down gently.

Will smiled down at me. “I know you, I don't know why. I've never met you, but the moment i set my eyes on your picture, I knew you were meant for me.” He laughed a little at himself. “I know I sound quite mad, but I came today because I had to know if it was all my imagination. And it's not - you're here, I'm here, it's as if it was fated. Your eyes, your smile, your lips, your brows....” Oh good Lord, was he going to start reciting a sonnet about my ears?
Before he could go on, I raised my hand to silence him. You really have to be direct with royalty, else they'll go on and on.

“Will, highness, you must understand, I am honored by your attentions, truly i am...”
“Then, you accept my suit? You'll marry me?” He leaned forward to drop a kiss on my lips, but i stepped backwards and he nearly sighed. Sometimes, these aristocrats can be a little too confident.

“No, highness.” If a white man can get any paler, he did. I am flattered, but I cannot stay here. My heart belongs to the Philippines.”

He brushed it off. “I will go with you!”

“You can't you know you have a duty to England.” I could see him struggle with his emotions.
Like the gentleman he was, he smiled sadly and didn't press any further. “Very well. My apologies for presuming on your affections. My thanks for honoring me with your time, my lady.” He turned away, then stopped as if he couldn't help himself. “Remember I will always be here. Waiting.” I didn't let myself feel regret as I watched him leave. The room exploded into sound as dozens of people busily chattered over the sight of the Crown Prince being rejected.

As far as i know, the prince is in Scotland, nursing his wounded heart.

And I sit in front of the computer, nursing my delusions.

Reality TV

I felt like were on a reality tv these past weeks, we need to be cautious because there's someone watching over our every move. The difference is there's no big brother, but a stepmother watching over us. She's not like big brother who still cares for his housemates even when they make mistakes, she explodes like a bomb anytime she just feels like. She's also like a child who throws tantrums, and she also morphs to a different persona in just a split second. She can be an extremely nice stepmom but she can also be more wicked than the most wicked stepmom you've ever seen on movies and soaps in your whole life!

Last night we had our share of confessing in where else? The confession room! We (my brother and I) were called by our dad and stepmom to their room to talk about things. When we got there the environment is very different, you can feel the tension and pressure of the people inside, each of us is trying to control our emotions or else we’ll end up killing each other! Hehehe just kidding! We’re not that brutal yet… but we’re on our way! Nyahahaha! Anyway, I think I heard my stepmom’s teeth gritting and my brother’s fists clenching. There were so many issues raised. And take note, same old issues. So old that those are older than EDSA II, so why not drop it off folks? At first I was just observing, observing as to where the conversation would lead. But when the time came when I thought that I should really talk, I talked. At first I can hardly utter the words I wanted to say but after a few exchanges of words, I became used to it right away and words kept flooding from my mouth. My dad and stepmom were shocked, and I was also as shocked as them! I never thought I’d be able to say those words. Nah let me rephrase it. I never thought that I could tell those words to their faces this soon, I saw it coming but I didn’t think that it would be this soon. But have no regrets, ‘coz after that I really felt good. Not just me but as well as my brother. But I won’t dig deep on the issues that we’ve tackled, it’s something that I wanted to forget as of the moment. But before our conversation ended we told them that we’re leaving the house. We also told them that we’re leaving with no bitterness, we’re leaving because we just felt that it’s the best thing for all of us. And we also told them that we better leave while the damages are still tolerable. In short my brother and I told them that we’ll be doing a voluntary exit.

I’ve realized that its better that we had that conversation because if not it would be hard for us to tell them that we’re planning to leave and live on our own.

After our very heart-warming conversation (as if), we left the confession room (my dad and stepmom’s room) and went straight to our respective rooms and started packing our things. While packing my things I had mixed emotions, I was sad because we’re leaving and that means I won’t get to see my li’l stepbrother on a daily basis, and I’m sure I’m going to miss him as well as my stepsister (though we’re not that close but we tried bonding for some time), our househelps they are so cool and they are my confidante and it works both ways on us. Though it’s not me who pays them, but I know their loyalty is with me, with us (my brother). I don’t want to be hypocrite but I know I’ll be missing my dad and stepmom too at some points, they’ve been my family for over a year. I’m also going to miss my room, my commuting from Fairview all the way to Makati. And of course I’ll miss the home that I had for over a year. But even so I’m also happy ‘coz at last we’ll be free from our stepmom’s shadow. And we’ll be living on our own! I missed leaving independently.

We’ll be moving out this weekend, and our new home we’ll be at Boni, Mandaluyong City. The house that we’ll be moving in is a small (not to small that we couldn’t fit in, just smaller than the house that we have in QC or the province) pretty modern house. And its way nearer to my work, which means that I don’t have to wake up at 5 o’clock in the morning to catch my 8AM shift. And I can afford to take the cab on a daily basis, unlike in QC that I always feel guilty after taking the cab ‘coz it normally cost me 200 bucks or more. Yippee! Lucky me!

Anyway, I’ll be posting here pictures of our new home after we moved in this weekend. And later I’ll announce the house party that we’re going to have there!

But for now, I’m still going home to QC.

Update

I haven't updated this blog for a week now. Though I really love to update this, there's this little something that hinders me from updating this blog. I'm afraid that I'll be carried away and end up writing here everything I'm going through right now. Just a hint, I'm going through so many things right now, so many that I can't contain it anymore. My first dilemma, I'm torn between two persons that I really love, and are important to me. Nah! I'm not talking about two lovers... (Just to make myself clear :-P) It's a about my parents, our family's into a very sensitive and crucial situation. And second hmnn... anyway I don't think he still reads my blog, or maybe he never read it. Well, if that's the case, its good. Anyway, it's about a guy that I've been trying hard to forget but keeps coming back. It's really hard, I swear. I think I can no longer pretend that I'm over him when I'm still so into him. Haaaay! Ang swerte naman n'ya... Somebody's life is screwing up because of him, of his existence! Duh! I have this soap-opera-like life. I got the lead role (of course, it's my life story remember?), and I also have a pair of villains. Though I'm not like the stereotype bida, that's being maltreated. (Huh! They can never do that to me, coz if they even just try, I'll turn their world upside down.) I'm still suffering from pain, though not physically, but it's more painful than that. Lately, I've been crying myself to sleep, I just can't take the emotional pain that their throwing at me. But I can still hold on a little, but wait and see till I can't take it anymore...

On a brighter side, I had a great weekend (last week of course!), and a great week at work! Everything's just right in their proper places, at work. Unlike what's happening outside my career. (Oooh, I'm still getting used to this word: CAREER)
And also about the story that I blabbed about last month I think? I already started it, I'm close to the end, but I think I still need to edit it, proof read chuva! Hahahhaha. But I'll post it here. As soon as I finish it.

Have a great weekend everyone! (I still have work tomorrow...)

Happy Birthday Miko Louise

(mas malaki pa mukha ko kesa sa celebrator:-P)

Happy 2nd Birthday to my cutie little brother Miko. He's a very sweet kid, he can cheer me up each time I'm down. He never fails to paint smile on my face. I love you Miko! Happy Birthday again. I'll give you your gift come payday. Hehehehe

LOVEWRECKED

I already watched Lovewrecked last Saturday. It's a feel good movie and it falls under the chick flicks category :) but it's fun! I like the twist of the story.

Here's the synopsis of the movie:

"Lovewrecked tells the story of Jenny (Amanda Bynes), an eighteen year-old girl who is ecstatic when she finds that her favorite rock star, Jason (Chris Carmack), is a guest at the tropical resort where she is working for the summer. When Jason falls off a cruise ship, Jenny dives in to save him, and the two raft their way onto a nearby "desert island" -- actually just a stone's throw from a luxury resort. However, Jenny wants to spend some time alone with Jason, so she lets him continue to believe that they are desperate castaways-- at least for now. Things get even more complicated when Jenny’s rival Alexis (Jamie-Lynn DiScala) pretends to be shipwrecked too, and they both compete for Jason’s affections. When Jenny's plan blows up in her face, her lifelong friend Ryan (Jonathan Bennett) is there to pick up the pieces."

If I were at the same situation with Jenny I'll still choose my bestfriend, Ryan over that rock star, Jason... --don't have enough time to explain :), it's understandable though. :D

Passing Time

LAST PERSON
1. Sent you a text message:
-- my HS classmate,Edward
2. Saw you cry:
-- yikes, my officemates? :-P
3. Went to the movies with you?
-- my brother
4. You went to the mall with?
-- my brother still (he's my constant date)
5. You had lunch with?
-- Sheina
7. Said 'I love you' to you and really meant it?
-- i never know when they mean it.
8. Broke your heart?
-- OUCH!
9. Made you laugh?
-- My MIS buddies
10.Talked on the phone?
-- Zeph

W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
-- none of the above
2. Be serious or be funny?
-- depends on the situation.
3. Drink whole or skim milk?
-- Skimmed
4. Die in a fire or drown?
-- drown?
5. Spend time with your parents or worst enemies?
--parents

D O Y O U P R E F E R. .
1. Gray or black?
-- black
2. Color or Black and white photos?
-- Color
3. Lust or love?
-- Love, of course
4. Sunrise or sunset?
-- sunrise
5. M&Ms or Skittles?
-- M&Ms
6.Staying up late or waking up early?
--staying up late

A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y !!
1.Do you like anyone?
-- yep
2. Do they know it?
-- a big NO (i'd rather not dig deep into this)

D O Y O U P R E F E R. .
1. Sun or moon?
-- Sun
2.Winter or Fall?
-- Winter
3. Left or right?
-- Right
4. 10 acquaintances or having two bestfriends?
--two best friends
5. Sunny or rainy?
-- Rainy
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
-- chocolate ice cream

A B O U T Y O U
1. What time is it?
-- 4:58
2. Name?
-- Kristin
3. Nickname(s):
-- tin,ann
4. What is your birth date?
-- april 18, 1985
5. What do you want? coke or pepsi?
-- coke
6. Where do you want to live?
-- philippines
7. How many kids do you want?
-- 2
38. You want to get married?
-- hmnnn... yeah

U N I Q U E !
1. Can you roll your tongue?
-- yupp
2 . Can you raise one eyebrow?
-- yupp
3. Can you cross your eyes?
-- yupp

R A N D O M
1. Which shoe goes on first?
-- right
2. Ever thrown one at someone?
-- yupp :-P

OTHER
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti?
-- yes
2.Have you ever eaten spam?
-- yes
3. Favourite ice cream:
-- cookies and cream, rocky road
4. How many kinds of cereal are in yourcabinet?
-- two

I N T H E L A S T M O N T H , HA V E Y O U ?
1. had a b/f or g/f
-- nope
2. Bought something:
-- yep
3. Sang:
-- yupp, in my bathroom
4. Been kissed:
-- ha! ;p
5. Been hugged:
--yupp
6. Felt stupid:
--yes, as in really stupid!
7. Missed someone:
--like crazy
8. Danced crazy:
-- not that crazy. ;p
9. Gotten your hair cut:
-- yupp
10. Cried:
-- ohhh yeah.:((

Locked Out.

After work Nhez, Tin and I decided to meet and have dinner to talk about our business plans. We were supposed to have our dinner at Esquinita but the place was so crowded for the reason that we don't know. So we decided to find another place. We were walking along Sgt Esguerra when the rain poured. It was raining so hard, and finding a cab is harder. Good thing Tin brought an umbrella with her but the size of the umbrella is not enough to shelter us from the pouring rain. After about twenty minutes, which seemed like forever we finally found a cab. We decided to stop the cab at Napoli's Pizzeria and we had our late dinner there. We had (as usual) carbonara, pizza and tossed salad with thousand island dressing. At around 10ish we called it a night. Tin and Nhez dropped me at Quezon Ave - EDSA intersection. Then from there I took a cab to our house in BF. I arrived at our house at around quarter to eleven I think. When I got there I called my brother to open the door for me but unfortunately he was out for the night and is not coming home till the next day. I called our househelps but they didn't answer. I think I made about 50+ missed calls but to no avail, I was already loosing hope. I already cried almost a bucket of tears. So I felt that if I can't still get in, I'll spend the night at Tin's place. For the last time, I peeked at the dirty kitchen's door then a brilliant idea came to my mind. I tore a part of the screen near the door so I could reach for the lock inside. I was able to get inside our dirty kitchen, but still I wasn't able to wake up neither my dad nor our househelps. I was really tired, physically and emotionally so I just drifted to sleep while seated on the chair. I didn't had a goodnight sleep, as I've expected. It's so hard forcing yourself to fit and sleep on a hard chair. And the night's really cold coz it was raining. I really felt cold, but I got nothing to keep me warm. I tried to call our househelp's phone every 30 minutes but still at no avail. At around 5 AM, my dad went to the kitchen and he found me there. The only thing I remember was that he was carrying me to my room. Suddenly, I remembered that I got work at 8AM,but since I didn't get to have enough sleep, I had no choice but to move it to 12:00NN. When I woke up at around 10:00AM, my dad asked me how did I get in, I don't want to get myself to trouble by telling him that I tore the screen so I just told him that somebody forgot to lock the kitchen's door. I told him not to be angry with the maids anymore 'coz if they did not forget to lock it up, I might be soaking wet in the rain the whole night. Fortunately, my dad bought the idea. I didn't get into any trouble. Smart me! :) And my dad also told me that next time it'll happen again, I should not hesitate to wake him up. Heheheh I got away with it clean... really clean.. :) It's really great to be a daddy's girl.

It's only 3 hours more before my week officially ends! But... there's a catch. I'll be a nocturnal worker again... Sigh. When I heard that yesterday, I did broke into tears. Why oh why everytime there's a shifting of schedule it's always me that's affected??? It's not about the shifting of schedule because I'm comfortable in any of the two, wether day ir night. Its just that I'm wondering why it have to be always me? That's why I hate team meetings coz everytime we have one, my schedule never fails to change... Poor me... On second thought, just a consolation prize, I think it's because of my versatility that's why they often change my schedule. Yeah, maybe I'm right.. heheheh there's no harm in sweet lemmoning. :) Have a great weekend everyone!

Sinful Days

Wednesday morning, I had breakfast at home, when I got at the workplace I along with my officebuddies Shein and Kitty went to Jollibee for some pancakes. Then we had a late lunch at Cheesecake etc., then when I left the office I went to G4, had my 'rounds', did a little shopping then went to meet my cousin Trish at Gateway. We had late dinner at Itallianni's, then coffee at Figarro. Yesterday, I had breakfast at home again, then had lunch at McDo, then dinner with Nhez and Tin at Napoli's Pizzeria at Timog. And today, I had breakfast at home again and bought lunch from Jollibee. I don't know where's next but one thing's sure. I really feel that I've been eating a lot lately, not to mentionm that I'm also spending a lot! I don't know what will happen later tonight, coz as you know it's Friday, it's T.G.I.F. day!

3 Things to be Happy About

Yesterday I was thinking of writing my musings, I read a blog and the title says 'come rant with me', so I thought of making my own version but now, just now I don't feel like whining anymore. I am so happy! There are so many things that I should be thankful and should be happy about. And I really like to brag it here. :)

First and foremost our white pages days are over! My office buddies really know what I'm talking about and we feel the same way about it, but for those who don't Aussie white pages extraction is what my team is doing since the last week of May, I think. And the process is really ughhhh! We manually extract the entries from the CD because it's an encrypted .dat file and there's no other way to extract it but manually. And can you imagine how many people are there in Australia? Oh my! It's really hard, and we were supposed to extract all those 7 million entries in the CD, but our extraction rate is only averaging 15K per week, so can you imagine that? We were told to stop, by our head coz it'll be impossible for us to extract all those basing on the rate that we had it'll take us more than 8 years to complete the extraction! :( Huh! Good thing our white pages days are over. Yippee!

Another thing to be happy is that I've found an alternative to Yahoo's launch cast, because in our workplace almost all great sites are banned.. Friendster, Youtube, hi5, myspace, launchcast, radioblog,vidilife and etc. are amongst those that are banned. But with the friendster thing I have a solution to that... of course I have my proxy site. :) Hehehe Smart me! :) I just hope that won't be caught by the tech guys and have these (the proxy and music) sites banned too.

And last but not the least... tomorrow's pay day! Yippee! Shopping galore again! I can't wait till tomorrow. I'm so damn excited.

Better Start the Week by Blogging

Ok, as always every start of the week I blog about what happened to my weekend. Last Friday I stayed long at the office 'coz I was waiting for Vanessa to finish her tasks, then after that I went to Cafea (again) this time with a different company, Nhez and Tin. We had dinner there and I think the waiters were surprised, even I 'coz Vanessa and I ordered a different dish. I had bolognese and Nhez got fettuccine alfredo and not the usual thing that we always eat there which is the carbonara. I tell you not only their coffee tastes great at Cafea even their dishes too! Especially, their pasta. Nhez and I love it so much! We can last a month just eating their pasta! I go gaga over their pasta, just the thought of it makes me drool... Nyikes! Gross! Heheheh

My supposed writing sessions didn't push through, my mind was really occupied with so many things.. It's so occupied that I felt it could explode any minute last weekend. So, I just had some rest and slept... I think I stayed the whole Saturday in my room just sleeping, watching tv, eating and just idling. I just love lazy days!

Sunday, my brother and I went to attend mass at St. Peter's Parish, just along Commonwealth ave. After that we went to the mall.. err department store nearest to our home which is Ever Commonwealth. We had lunch there, went window shopping then hurried home to watch Pacquiao's fight. :) Yeah, I'm a pretty little boxing aficionado because of my daddy (my maternal grandfather), we used to watch boxing every Sunday when I was still in the province. If only the tickets were not that expensive I could have been at Araneta watching the fight! LOL! hehehehe, 'course not.. I'm not that 'into' boxing... Sabay bawi eh... Well, I was contented watching the fight in the luxury of my own room, on my 21" television set. I was not really thrilled with how the fight went but all in all, it was good. They ended the fight with pride and dignity! The Filipno boxers ended the fight victorious! I was also thrilled seeing those celebrities cheering like kids for Pacman, they look so cute and so human!!! (Coz i thought they were plastics :) hehehe)

Long live the Filipino boxers!!!

About the knitted top that I've been dying to have.. I still didn't get it, but my brother promised to buy it for me tomorrow! I'm just a lucky girl! Tenenen! :-P