People who just got out of a relationship say that it sucks being in one, and Singletons also say that it sucks being not in one. I've been part of the Singletons' club for so long that I can't even remember. It's not that I lived in a cave and no one dared to approach me, it's just a personal choice. I love having my freedom, I love spending time with myself. Let's just say that I love the perks that came with being single. Also, I don't want to be in a relationship because it just spells trouble. Hey, that's just me. So my friends who are in a relationship, you can lower your eyebrows now, I can already see them up to your scalps. I'm not generalizing, merely voicing out my own opinion.
I'm the type of person that doesn't want labels. We are what we are, no need to define. If we both enjoy each others company, then good. But don't expect that I'll give you anything more than that. Take it or leave it. But then something happened that changed the course of the wind...
I met someone like me, someone who isn't into relationships and anything that resembles one. I agreed with the situation that we had, just enjoying every moment that we've spent together. Then the unthinkable happened, I broke my own rules! And the rare times that I let my walls down, it just always have the same ending. I think I had him running for the hills, literally. Because I haven't heard a single word from him for almost a couple of weeks now.
Why don't I ever learn? Maybe I'm a masochist and just don't know it? But it wasn't just me, he also said some things that made me changed my mind about him, about us. He told me things that a girl would melt for. I thought he was serious, but now that I stepped back and can see the big picture, all I see is that he's a smooth criminal and I was the voluntary victim.
I have no regrets, I had fun. We had fun. But I just wish that he had let me know the reason why he ended whatever we had. I deserve to know, I was part of the "non-equation". And whatever it is, I would understand. For sure the truth can't be worst than what I'm imagining in my head.
I don't know what to call the thing that we had. But it was fun while it lasted. I'm a realist, so I don't always expect a happy ending. But I'm also an optimist so I can say that we or I, had a happy in-between.
If ever I'll get the chance to have kids someday, I won't raise them to believe in happy endings. I would encourage them to live for the happy in-betweens, it makes life easier to understand. It's not the destination that counts, but the journey towards that...
