A Night with Nights in Rodanthe

So I told you that after posting the entry before this I'll be reading the Nights in Rodanthe. I did not but did. I did not because I did not read it right after for no reason at all and I did because I've read it during my shift tonight. I also love (once again) and hate Nicholas Sparks at the same time. I love him because he wrote another good novel but I also hate him because he put me in the verge of tears. I really wanted to cry, if only I was at home I could have cried a bucket but then again I'm here at work. It was so hard for me reading the very tear-jerking part and not be able to let loose a single tear because my officemates might notice and would ask me why. If you didn't know, I'm the only femme working with a bunch of guys in our office so it's really hard. When I got to that 'part', my heart was really crushed and I think I felt what Adrienne felt that time. It was like I was the person in the book. The book is at the same time heart-warming and heart-breaking.

I know I've been making one to many contradicting points here, but it is what I'm feeling now. Unlike A Bend in the Road that's tragedy then happiness, this book it's like tragedy-happiness-tragedy-contentment. Though the protagonists of this book are of middle ages but still I can relate to them. I felt the lost of the lady protagonist who went through divorce and found a new love then dealt with the grief of the death of her new found love alone but still found her strength to live each day not just for herself but also for her family. It left me wondering if was there ever a time my mom went through this phase when she and my dad separated. I wondered if like Amanda, Adrienne's daughter I was blinded to my mom's grief and solitude because I was busy running away from everything that happend to our family, and was busy building my own world where I had a picture perfect family. I'm not insensitive when it comes to my family, but as I've been saying I'm no expert. And how would I know if my mom does cry herself to sleep like I do because where miles apart? And I bet she also didn't know that stage of my life because she was also busy dealing with her stuff.

But one thing I've learned from this book, is that nothing can ever make you feel better but yourself, and you won't get over losing someone/something you just get used to the pain and it's up to you if you'll let yourself be eaten by it. It all boils down to you wanting to give up or go on with life. It's a matter of choice.

I just hope that when all else fails life is as simple as CTRL-ALT-DEL.