It's been a couple of weeks since i last updated this blog. Its because nothing worth writing/ posting happened to moi. Anyway, the thing that's bothering me since the year started is finally off my system now, though not completely but I'm on the process of casting it away.
I've gone through self-assertion and fortunately I've found answers to my questions and later did i know that signs were raining on my face, i was such a fool for not noticing them.. or maybe i noticed but i was just on denial. It was silly of me to believe that i would have a happy ending with that person. And i was the biggest fool thinking that life would be complete with him by my side.
As a kid, and up to now i can say that i get almost everything that i wanted, from toys, to clothes, education, job and some other things that matters in life. Some people say that I'm very lucky because everything seems to fall on the right places but little did they know that not everything in my life is served on a silver platter. They don't even have the slightest idea that i earned everything in my life the hard way, even harder. And there are also some things that i don't get, no matter how hard i try to achieve it, maybe not now... or maybe not in this lifetime. sigh.
I know that no amount of wealth can compare to the joy and fullfillment i'll get if i get those things that i always longed for. I'm not being ungrateful to what i have now but its just that i know deep down in my soul that these are only the things that can complete me. That can complete and satisfy my existence in this world. I know its crazy to say that you'll only be happy if you'll be or you'll end up with this certain person, i admit, i was like that before but now i realized that its not the person that will make you happy instead its the feeling of loving and to be loved that completes you. So no matter i'll end up with him or not, i know i'll find happiness if not with him but with other persons. (But its a bonus if i'll end up with him though!) This is what i hate about loving or being sooo attached with a person or thing because getting over him/it is so hard to do. And losing them makes you a totally different person. But still i believe that everyhting happens for a reason... maybe the person for me is just somewhere down the road... waiting for the signs too!
