Saturday, August 10, 2013

Conversations with Myself #1

“Kristina what’s the one thing in your life that you dreamed of that you haven’t achieved yet?”

(Yes, I call myself Kristina when I want to knock some sense into my messed up mind. Also that’s what my mom calls me when I’ve done something wrong when I was a kid.)

“Just one thing? Really? Can I have at least ten?”

“No, just one Kristina.”

“But, I have so many….”

“Shush! Seriously, just think of one.”

“Ok, ok. Fine! Honestly, I’m nearing 30 and I have no investments more than a hundred grand. I buy gadgets and clothes, yes. But can you really call those long term investments? Of course not. Also I haven’t quite figured out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I’m really a big ball of beautiful mess.”

“You’ve got quite and introduction there. Just get to the point already.”

“Why are you in a hurry? Anyway, I think the one thing that I haven’t achieved yet is getting my father to be proud of me. I’ve lived my whole life doing things that I thought he would be proud of, but it never happened. So I just stopped.”

“Stopped? How?”

“When I said stopped, I didn’t mean that I stopped doing things. What I meant is I stopped doing things for the sole reason of making my father proud. I still do a lot of things now, but I do it because I want to be proud of myself and also because it makes me happy. I stopped doing things for the wrong reasons. Got it?”

“Yes, got it. Gosh, it’s the first entry for your series and it’s really serious. No wonder nobody reads your blog.”

“Ouch, that hurts. But really, I don’t care if nobody reads this blog. I made this for me, not for anyone else.”


“Attagirl. Till our next conversation.”

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