I had a dream today, it's kinda vague but I remember it was like me hanging out with my ex and being so in to him again. I even stalked him in my dream! Ex, if ever you happen to read this (though I won't mention who the ex is) don't get too excited because if I am in to you in my dream, you are soooo into me too! Hah! It's just weird because I don't think of him anymore, I don't even remember his face! True, except for the "not remembering his face" part which is a total lie. And not only that Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf are there too! We were strolling at Central Park in Manhattan. "Hey upper eastsiders, Gossip Girl here..." Ok snap! For a moment when I woke up I thought I was gossip girl! Is this because I am watching too much TV or in my case watching too much TV shows on the net? What do you think? Oh cut it, I know what you're thinking... you want me to get a life or something... I know, I know! I'm trying here people!
So, yesterday or today in some parts of the world is Halloween, how did you celebrate it? If you'll ask me I really had a great time! Not a great time because I went to some costume party or I went trick-or-treating, but because I did a lot of sleeping(need a lot of it to forget about some things for a while)! See, I'm normal and I have a life, right? Almost forgot, we had "party" the other night at work, it's not a Halloween party but a pizza party. I know it's not worth blogging, but who cares I want to tell you about it! To bore you to death! Hihihihihi (witch laugh here)!
I know for the nth time that I'm not making any sense here, and I'm just spewing whatever that comes to my mind. It's just that my mind's really occupied. I'm having mixed emotions today. You know it's so hard when the only person you can talk to, is the person that you don't want or feel like talking to. You get my point?
I just feel bad and sad, I trust him so much but I feel like he don't trust me. There are things that I feel that I need to know but he doesn't make the effort to tell me. He often tells my mom or his friends that he doesn't feel the need to tell me because he thinks that I am so smart and I can find it out on my own. I know I can do that, but is it really that hard to open up to me? Why can he open up to anyone except me? Sometimes, I feel like he's a different person, and I don't know him at all. All I want is for him to tell me whatever it is that he tells his friends, I want to be one of his 'friends' too. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe I am just so used of him being around me, and maybe it's about time for me to stand on my own. The only thing I'm certain about is that I can't depend on anyone but myself. Is it just if I won't talk to him? Not that I won't speak to him at all, just not talk that much, I'll only talk if I'm being asked, and maybe limit my answers to 2 syllables. Will it give him an idea? Or I really should tell him straight about what I truly feel?
So, yesterday or today in some parts of the world is Halloween, how did you celebrate it? If you'll ask me I really had a great time! Not a great time because I went to some costume party or I went trick-or-treating, but because I did a lot of sleeping(need a lot of it to forget about some things for a while)! See, I'm normal and I have a life, right? Almost forgot, we had "party" the other night at work, it's not a Halloween party but a pizza party. I know it's not worth blogging, but who cares I want to tell you about it! To bore you to death! Hihihihihi (witch laugh here)!
I know for the nth time that I'm not making any sense here, and I'm just spewing whatever that comes to my mind. It's just that my mind's really occupied. I'm having mixed emotions today. You know it's so hard when the only person you can talk to, is the person that you don't want or feel like talking to. You get my point?
I just feel bad and sad, I trust him so much but I feel like he don't trust me. There are things that I feel that I need to know but he doesn't make the effort to tell me. He often tells my mom or his friends that he doesn't feel the need to tell me because he thinks that I am so smart and I can find it out on my own. I know I can do that, but is it really that hard to open up to me? Why can he open up to anyone except me? Sometimes, I feel like he's a different person, and I don't know him at all. All I want is for him to tell me whatever it is that he tells his friends, I want to be one of his 'friends' too. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe I am just so used of him being around me, and maybe it's about time for me to stand on my own. The only thing I'm certain about is that I can't depend on anyone but myself. Is it just if I won't talk to him? Not that I won't speak to him at all, just not talk that much, I'll only talk if I'm being asked, and maybe limit my answers to 2 syllables. Will it give him an idea? Or I really should tell him straight about what I truly feel?
1 comment:
Awwwww.... you know you can call me anytime. I'll be here for you, always. Love you lots! *mwaahh!
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