I barely slept today because there were lots of noise around, there were the electricians fixing the wirings of our place, I also talked to a long lost friend and lastly because I've been thinking about the thing I did on impulse last Monday.
I just hate myself sometimes because when I wanted to do something so little I tend to do it right away without even going through it thinking that it wouldn't do much harm because it's just 'so little' but here I am, restless. I don't want to admit that I regretted sending that stuff, because I'm always the type of person who have no time for regrets and I really think that everything happens for a reason, but this doesn't feel right. Who am I kidding? And thinking about it now, I don't really think I made sense. And honestly, I can't find a reason good enough to justify what I did.
What was I thinking? Or why did I think about it on the first place? Duh! I can't turn back the hands of time (but I really wish I could). Do you know a doctor who can erase a part of my memory like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? I just wish to have a selective amnesia at this point, I want to forget that I ever sent that stuff, and I also don't want to remember that I even came to a point of having that thought.
I'm expecting the worst out of it but a part of me still have the littlest spark of hope that it will be the other way around. Wishful thinking...
I just hate myself sometimes because when I wanted to do something so little I tend to do it right away without even going through it thinking that it wouldn't do much harm because it's just 'so little' but here I am, restless. I don't want to admit that I regretted sending that stuff, because I'm always the type of person who have no time for regrets and I really think that everything happens for a reason, but this doesn't feel right. Who am I kidding? And thinking about it now, I don't really think I made sense. And honestly, I can't find a reason good enough to justify what I did.
What was I thinking? Or why did I think about it on the first place? Duh! I can't turn back the hands of time (but I really wish I could). Do you know a doctor who can erase a part of my memory like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? I just wish to have a selective amnesia at this point, I want to forget that I ever sent that stuff, and I also don't want to remember that I even came to a point of having that thought.
I'm expecting the worst out of it but a part of me still have the littlest spark of hope that it will be the other way around. Wishful thinking...
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