World Teachers' Day

Today is world teachers' day. I just wanted to take time to thank all the teachers in the world. They say that teaching is the noblest profession, and I 100% agree to that. Teachers are behind all professions, there will be no doctors, lawyers, engineers and other professionals if it weren't for them. They are our second parents, often times, kids, especially kindergartens and primary schoolers believe everything what their teachers say more than their parents. Teachers are a big factor to who or what we all become.

I can still remember all of my teachers, except maybe for my teacher in kindergarten since I only went for a couple of days or so. My mom said that I "quit" kindergarten because I said the lessons are just so easy and "paulit-ulit" or were done repeatedly which was for the benefit of the slow learners (sorry, I just can't find the right word to describe) which I didn't  know back then.

My favorite teachers were:

• Mrs. Zenaida Sayson, we call her Ma'am Zenny she was my teacher in first grade. She was just so sweet to everyone in my class and she always find ways to keep the class alert and happy.
• Ms. Judith Lagoy, she was our substitute teacher in grade 4. She was a fresh grad, very pretty and very full of energy.
• Ms. Derbie Geronimo and Ms. Fe Jandugan, our Science teachers in high school, they were the not-so-friendly teachers, my classmates would all agree to that but I still love them. Maybe because Science is one of my favorite subjects and I really learned a lot from the two of them.
• Mrs. Ludivina Salazar, she's my English teacher in HS, and my class adviser for 2 consecutive years (2nd and 3rd year), she was literally our "Mother of Perpetual Help", she was always there for us, her students, even when we were almost disowned by our school because our batch was the worst (their word) ever.
• Ms. Filsie Bualan, our PEHM teacher. She was pretty and very cool, and she has the prettiest hands! She's also a very good listener, she listens to all my rantings and musings. Until now we still talk to each other every once in a while.
• And I was in love with so many of my college professors, I can't name them here one by one because I love almost all of them except for 5, I think. About those 5, I don't hate them personally I just hate the courses that they were teaching, especially the very scary Math subjects!

And I will never forget the teachers in my family, my maternal grandparents are both retired public school teachers, my aunt Ida and my mom who are public school teachers. 

This blog entry is not even possible without you teachers out there. So to all the teachers in the world happy teachers' day to all of you. We owe you a lot!!!

Lost In Space and Everything Else

I posted this entry 5 years ago here : I'm posting this now because it describes exactly what I'm feeling now.

 This has been going on for the last couple of weeks. I felt like a zombie, hollow inside and been trying to drown myself with all the noise around me. I party hard just to forget this thing and it sucks! My system craves for wine and beer hoping it will dilute whatever trace of boredom and depression I had in me but to no avail. I felt like a miniscule particle floating in this god forsaken space with no direction and been bumping around on many obstacles that scar my already jaded mind. Ha! If it’s a fact of life that end with a K then it really sucks!

Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 29

I won't be telling you when this exercise should've ended because I can't. I lost track, this is way long overdue. If this were a utility bill I would have been charged 30% more. Great thing it's not, so no additional charges here.

Anyway, day 29: In this past month what have you learned?

 Procrastination at its best!

Aside from my procrastination magnified? Wait... I think I learned to share some of the things that I rarely or never talk about. And I did know myself better. I somehow got an idea what I want and do not want. Although most of those are just petty and silly little stuff but those define who I am. As a person. So love me, or hate me.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 28

A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

March 2009

September 2010

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 27

Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

At first I think that it would be fun doing this stuff, and aside from that I get to blog each day for 30 days without running out of something to blog about. 

But because I am just me, and I always procrastinate, it took me this long to get to day 27 when in fact I would have been done 6 days ago.

Even though I'm way too late, I'll just catch up with the remaining days and finish what I started. ☺

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 26

What do you think about your friends?

One sentence. They're the BEST!

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 25

What I would find in your bag?

Today, what you'll find in my bag are: my phone, mp3 player, my kikay kit, pens, coin purse, company ID, data cable, umbrella and Vicks inhaler. These are th stuff that I bring to work everyday, except for the inhaler (I'm having stuffy nose now). And I rarely bring my wallet to work because I get off at 4AM and I'm just avoiding the unspeakable possibilities if I bring my wallet with me.

Will post a picture later. ☺

I am Woman

This is my current LSS!

The song is self explanatory. ☺

Go Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte!

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 24

A letter to your parents

For Mama:

Momma,

I'm missing you now. I missed the days when you're here in Manila, our endless talks about everything. The way you rub my back so that I can sleep during my sleepless nights. And how you'll call me and ask me to meet you at the mall after I get off from work. Our pig out moments, our shopping together. I miss the little things we do together. I miss you momma. I hope to see you soon.

Te amo.

Ann

For Papa:

Pa,

The last time we saw each other all I ever said to you was "hi", and I really regret it. I hope a day will come when you'll call me or I can call you and we'll have coffee or something. I really missed you. And one of the reasons that I don't visit you it's because I'm jealous of my half siblings, they are so much closer to you. It pains me knowing that you tuck them to bed and kiss them goodnight. I'm also jealous because they get to spend time with you, and our communication is limited to text messages for special occasions like Christmas, new years and birthdays. I really hope we're going to be ok, someday, somehow.

Love Ann

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 23

Something you crave for a lot.

I crave a lot of food especially when it's almost the time of the month.

But I've been craving for frozen yogurt for forever, haven't had one for over a week now. And I think that this is the longest that I've gone without it. If I would wish for one thing this Christmas,  I would wish to have a yogurt machine at home. So I'll have unlimited supply of frozen yogurt in the comforts of my own home.

I'm also a chocoholic, and I don't want to go to rehab. Even if it's bad for my peptic ulcer, but still. I love chocolates. No explanations needed.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 22

What makes you different from everyone else?

I REALLY DON'T KNOW.

But since we're on it I think I'm different because I am ME, flaws and all.

I may have fibbed a thousand times, but I am not the the type of person that will abandon a family or a friend in times of need.

I am different because I don't stick to the status quo. I deviate. Sometimes I think I'm bipolar in some ways. I like different things at the same time. I have no pattern, deciphering me is like reading an Anne Rice novel.

I may be the only person in the world that can't stand the smell of peanut butter but loves to eat peanuts. I don't eat egg yolks, liver and squash just because.

Often times, I'll be the biggest dork you'll ever know, but I can also be cool if I wanted to. I think the phrase that best describes me is that "I am anything but ORDINARY".

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 21

A picture of something that makes you happy.

I am kind of shallow in terms of happiness. Little things make me happy.

Being in a bookstore makes me happy. I love the idea of finding new books to read. And just the smell of the new books is like morphine to me. Although it kinds of trigger my allergies.

A clothing store, especially a ZARA store. It's like Christmas for me! I love that their designs are so much like the high end brands but of course it's way cheaper.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 20

Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Honestly, I haven't thought about marriage, yet. If I had the choice, I won't be getting married within the next five years. For starters, I don't have a boyfriend. And besides, I still want to accomplish many things in my life so maybe I'll think of settling down when I finally got what I really wanted in life. And what I really want? It's yet to be discovered. ☺

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 19

Nicknames you have; why do you have them?

I have lots of nicknames! Not lots, lots, but I think I have at least 5.

Ann - what my family calls me

'ga - (from the Visayan word "pangga" means love) is what my mommy (my grandmother) calls me.

Tin - what most of my friends call me. For the most obvious reason, it's a shortened version of my name.

Tinox - the nickname I got from my college buddies, I don't know why they call me that.

Kriann - the nickname I made for myself as there are lots of Kristins (no matter the spelling difference but sounded the same) during my (I.T.) college years and it stuck till now.

KRISTINA - I'm kind of scared when my mom calls me this name, it only means one thing... I'm in big trouble!

Badids/Badiday - my father's family nicknamed me this, they said that when I was little I had very big/loud voice, I think until now I still do. Anyway, they said that I sounded like the late Inday Badiday. So the nickname.

Chelsea - what the people from my first job calls me, this was my American name. And it kinda stuck (also).

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 18

Plans/ dreams/ goals you have.

I have no concrete plans just yet, but I'm already planning of quitting my job early next year. I think the I.T. world is not my cup of tea, never was. I already talked to my mom about the possible things I want to do next year. I would start a small business with my other girl cousins. They're both fresh out of college and doesn't like the idea of working for someone else. But they are oozing with fresh ideas and confidence.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 17

Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why?

This is a toughie, sounds like a question you'll be asked if you're a finalist of a beauty pageant.

Well I would say that I would love to have Carrie Bradshaw's life, but she's a fictional character so she's off the choices.

Then I browsed through iamalexa's blog and found that she would want to be Olivia Palermo for a day, one of the girls of The City. Then I instantly thought of Lauren Conrad.

She's more my age than Carrie Bradshaw. I would have liked to be Olivia but the way the City portrays her on the show, she's kind of a bitch to Whitney.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 16

Another picture of yourself (baby pic)

This entry made me wish I was back at home in the province I got lots of cute baby pics (I was a cute baby!) Whoever disagrees... well you can't do anything as this is my blog. ☺

Anyway, I don't have my baby picture with me but this will suffice, I think. Oh god! This is shameful! Hahaha!

Look at those Daisy Dukes (the shorts), I was already sporting those even way back then! The laced socks and Mary Janes and the dangling earrings! And don't get me started with the bangs! Hahaha! I think this was taken at MU, when my mom was taking up her second course B.S.Ed.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 15

Put your ipod on shuffle and 1st 10 songs that play.

Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5

This Photography is Proof - Taking Back Sunday (Spiderman OST)

Down - Jay Sean

Tricky Angel - Natasha Bedingfield

Headlight Disco - The Click Five

Only Young - Bowling For Soup

Don't Let Me Stop You - Kelly Clarkson

How Does it Feel - Keri Hilson

Karma - Alicia Keys

Down For the Count - Bowling For Soup

My song choices are very broad, you can't really tell what I'm really into. But since Bowling For Soup surfaced twice, I think it kind of tells you something. ☺

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 14

A picture of you and your family.

My family is comprised of my mom, my brother and me. I'm not being bitter or anything, I'm just stating facts. My dad and mom separated when I was in 3rd grade and he already have his own family now, so it's just right that I only consider the 3 of us as a family.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 13

A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Ok, this was supposed to be posted YESTERDAY! I'm quite surprised myself that it took me 13 days to fold and miss a post. It's a sign of progress! Right?

Anyway, thinking about the exercise for Day 13, I think I subconsciously knew that I don't need to do the exercise because no one has hurt me recently. Well, there's someone but I know that it was just a petty issue.

So, for the spirit of doing this 30 Day blog thingy I'm going to post something, different. I'm going to write a letter to someone who made me really happy recently. It's timely because I just got the note that I've been waiting for yesterday.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 12

How you found out about blogger and why you made one?

I found out about Blogger through my officemate, Jerryl. He introduced me to Blogger, but before Blogger I already started blogging through Friendster Blogs (I know so old school!). So, I just transferred from Friendster to here. But the reason I started blogging on the first place is just I want to have a journal or something like it so that my friends who are far from me can keep up with my life, the way I keep up with theirs through their blogs.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 11

Another picture of you and your friends.

I really miss you gels! These are the people that I met on my first real job. They are truly for keeps! I miss our daily/nightly parties! Our not-so-drunk-but-not-so-sober trips to Baguio and Tagaytay. I miss having tequila shots and bull riding with you. We should meet soon.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day10

Songs you listen to when you're happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad. I should say that this is the hardest. I can't decide what song for what mood.

I practically listen to every genre, except for boybands, they are my biggest no-no! Anyway, I'll give this exercise a try. Just a TRY.

When I'm happy I listen to any upbeat music: it doesn't matter if it's alternative, pop or country. But thinking about it now I think I listen to Natasha Bedingfield's Pocketful of Sunshine album, it's all about positivity baby! When I'm sad, I listen to Augustana, their songs just express how I really feel.

When I'm bored I listen to Bowling For Soup they just have the perfect songs for a perfectly boring day! And instantly I will be able to forget my boredom and just sing and smile with the BFS guys.

When hyped, I'd go for Imogen Heap, Colbie Caillat and Marit Larsen. The chillout melody of their songs make me feel relaxed. And I also listen to them when I'm cramming to meet a deadline. Their songs make me think clear and just slow down (in a good way).

When I'm mad... this I know a little too well. I listen to any hard core alternative song. The louder the better. I'm the type of person who just keeps quiet when I'm angry because I don't want to regret anything I say after the madness is over, so the loud songs kinda express what I really feel.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 09

Something you're proud of in the past few days.

Me, Jules and Juhai (now)

I am very proud of myself and my babies! Hahaha! We've been through a lot of stuff together and apart. But after 6 years, we finally got together again! And just like the good old times, we spent our time together eating! Nothing's changed with our friendship, (I think only our waistlines) we're still the crazy university students that we were before, and we still share the same love for food!

Jules, moi and Juhai ( circa 2002)

Thank you Julei and Juhai.

P.S. Sheena after 8 years, you are still missing from the picture. But love you still.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 08

Short-term goals for this month, why?

As much as I don't want making a long list but I have to. There are lots of things that I want to finish/achieve for this month.

1. Have time to get my hair re-bonded.
2. Have a haircut.
3. Finish my portfolio.
4. Buy 5 books and actually finish it before the month ends.
5. Book tickets for Ho Chi Minh City for my mom's birthday.
6. Book tickets for Zamboanga for October.
7. Save enough money! ☺☺☺

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 07

A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

This is easy... I would say that it's my family in a blink of an eye. It's an almost automatic answer when you ask anyone. They molded me into who(ever) I am today.

And there's Carrie Bradshaw. She's my role model even though she had bad choices in the past, but still Carrie Bradshaw is CARRIE BRADSHAW! She's everyone's favorite pop culture female icon. And Carrie and the show itself made me want to live in the big city and do a SATC stunt.

And last but definitely not the least... Carrie Bradshaw won't be Carrie Bradshaw without the city. The city that never sleeps! You think it's a cliché but I LOVE NEW YORK CITY! I just love the picture perfect city and the fashion styles of the people who live there.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 06

Favorite superhero and why?

No doubt it would be Peter Petrelli! He's the coolest and super among all the superheroes in the world! He's a total package! He's ability is to adopt other people's powers or abilities. So technically he can do anything! And I mean ANYTHING! From flying, mind-reading, talking to machines and regeneration... Name it and Peter (will) have it!

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day05

A picture of somewhere you've been to:

This was taken last summer at the Moonbay Marina in Subic. This is probably the best summer get-away ever! We stayed there for a couple of days, went to a lot of beautiful places, ate all kinds of food and partied the whole night even if it was during holy week.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 04

A habit that you wish you didn't have.

On a serious note I would say that procrastination is the habit that I wish I didn't have. I know for a fact that it would get me nowhere. Like this 30 day thingy, I was supposed to start on the 1st of August but as usual I procrastinated so I ended up starting it a day after.

And of course there's impulsive buying of stuff that I don't really need. I avoid the mall lately because I can't leave the mall without buying something, anything. So to avoid my impulsive shopping I also avoided the mall altogether.

And lastly I think my obsession with nail polish, I changed the polish on my toenails like every 3 days so now I'm stuck with yellowish toenails.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 03

A picture of you and your friends..

I mentioned before my friends and I used to post a lot of pictures of them. But I don't have decent and recent pics of them. So I'm going to introduce you to some of my cliques. The cliques that I can relate to even in real life.

Audrina, Whitney and Lauren

The girls from The Hills sans Heidi. Aside from their fashion styles, I also love the way they make Lauren portray the working student: studying at FIDM and interning for Teen Vogue at the same time and eventually working for People's Rev and whatever it is that she's doing now. And Whitney she's transformed from the LA girl to the big City girl. And how she's sashaying up the stairs of fashion.

Jenny, Serena, Nate, Vanessa, Blair, Chuck & Dan

The famous Upper East Siders and the Brooklyn babes and boy. I just can't get enough of their drama, their fabulous closets and the upper class lives that they live.

Spencer, Emily, Hanna and Aria

The girls from Prettly Little Liars, it's not that I can relate to this show because my bestfriend was murdered (god forbid) or that I was an accessory to the crime or something like that. But I just like the way they stick together, even if they're not really besties anymore but they're still there for each other.

So there are my top 3 TV friends! ☺

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 02

Day 02

The meaning behind your blogger name.

I used to name my blog KRISTINIONS, Kristin’s opinions but I changed it 3 years ago to KRISTINATILANO. So if ever I get famous it would be easy to track my blog. Kidding! I just want my blog to be me.

KristinAtilano in 30 Days - Day 01

A Recent Picture of you and 15 interesting facts about you.

1. I enjoy writing so much but usually there’s only one person who reads my works, ME!

2. I always dream of becoming a fashion designer, and a newscaster in one.

3. when I was little I wanted to be an actress, but it was just recently that I realized that I suck at it (acting). ☺

4. I still watch Disney shows, I’m a kid at heart.

5. I also enjoy reading books, I love going to places just to read. I read all kinds of books.

6. I prefer staying in than going out on a weekend night, but I still party every once in a while.

7. I prefer high heels over flats, but I have a very weak right ankle.

8. I secretly wish it would rain at least once a month so I can wear my Wellington boots. They’re made for rain, right?

9. I watch/watched Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars, The OC and The Hills for fashion inspiration.

10. I would love to attend the biggest fashion weeks NYC, Paris and London!

11. I always wanted to be brushing elbows with Pinky Webb, she’s so classy and smart.

12. I love classic pieces, often get them from vintage stores (read as: ukay-ukay) and a "store" called my mom or aunt’s closets.

13. I splurge on clothes!

14. I would like to work for VOGUE someday. Thank you.

15. I have no idea how, but I would like to leave a mark and make an impact to others.

KristinAtilano in 30 days

So I'm doing/posting something in this blog for 30 days. I was supposed to start on the 1st (yesterday) but knowing me, the president of procrastination so I ended up starting today. And besides our connection at home was down yesterday.

So here's what I'm going to do for the next 30 days:

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself (baby pic!)

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you?

Where You'd Go With an Unlimited Budget?

Ok so I had a similar post about 2 years ago, but if you read it, it's quite different. It was more of a fantasy, although having an unlimited budget is still a fantasy and a far out concept for me as of the moment. (But you wait and see! Hahaha!) Anyway, let's stick to the subject... If I have an unlimited budget where'd I want to go?

Only the circumstances have changed, I'm a gazillionaire now, not a jumper, so it'll be hard for me to just jump from one place to another in a matter of seconds let's be realistic here people. And since I'm a gazillionaire, I don't have to work a day in my life, and I have all the time in this world to travel, shop, eat, sleep and repeat.

So I would probably stay in Italy for a couple of months, I'll visit Rome, the Vatican, Milan, Florence, and Tuscany. I'll pull an Eat Pray Love stunt but only the EAT part. And of course a lot of shopping! And maybe find myself a hot Italiano!

I chose Italy because it's a country where my two loves are very famous: fashion + food. And no sane person would say no to a 2 month stay in Italy only doing shopping, eating, and doing whatever tourists do.

Reality and Fairytale

When I was a kid, living in a city like Manila is a fairytale for me. I pictured Manila as a dream because almost every local movie I've watched was filmed in this very wonderful city. I like the idea of walking along the busy streets of the metro, the hustle and bustle of a big city. The skyscrapers are a site to behold for me, compared to the never ending fields and coasts that I always see from my hometown.

But now that I'm older and has been living in Manila for half a decade the tides have changed, Manila became my reality and my little coastal hometown has become my fairytale. I always looked forward to going back to my hometown, I just can't get enough of the quiet and serenity of the place, it's an escape away from the hustle and bustle of the big city which I used to really love. And the fields and coasts that I used to hate feels like a birthday present for me everytime I see them, they just don't fail to put a smile not only on my face but in my heart.

Whoever said that the only constant thing in this world is change was right. And just because you like something now, it doesn't always mean that you'll still like it in a year or two. Maybe we humans don't just have that satisfaction. It's funny and ironic at the same time when I think about how I loved the city and hated my hometown back then, but now it's the other way around.

Little Wish

I had this little wish 3 years ago but not until a few weeks back that it almost became a reality. Well, operative word is almost because as of the moment it's still not granted but I have a feeling that it will be... But I have this mixed feeling about it, half of my heart wants it so bad to realize right at this very moment but also half of my heart doesn't want it to come true and just stay a wish/dream forever. This wish as I've said is just a little wish, not really life changing. Wait. I take it back. Though little it is life changing. Never underestimate the butterfly effect. Anyway, I really wanted it to come true that's why I wish for it on the first place, but when it almost happened I wished that it wouldn't just yet. I just can't grasp the thought of it coming true, because I wouldn't have anything to look forward to. I admit this wish is what keeps me going and what keeps me striving for some even bigger dreams. So I know the big guy up there is a little confused , and I'm sorry for that.

I bet when I'll tell you what my wish is you'll raise your eyebrows up to the crown of your heads, so I might as well not tell you. It's just petty.. and when I say petty it's more petty than petty. Do I make sense to you? I'm not really sure, I'm quite floating these past few weeks. So, I'll let you know when I'm sane. ☺

The Week That Was

Insane week I had, it was like a roller coaster ride! Roller coasters are fun but when you ride it long enough you'd just want to get off it and just sit on the bench and close your eyes for a few minutes while you gather every piece of you that has been shooting towards every direction while on the ride. I'll say that I had fun, but I'm also glad that it's over.

A Beautiful Mess

And here I am thinking that it was father's day yesterday. I was quite horrified this morning when I read on Facebook that it was father's day yesterday (only in Lithuania) because I've forgotten to call my grandpa, greet my uncles and my dad. Because if it was father's day yesterday I would be toast! I will not stop hearing about it from my grandma that I forgot my grandpa on father's day. My father though, I doubt if he will even care if I greet him or not. But I silently hope he does.

I know I may seem not to care about him, but I still do. In fact I really do. I might remind myself sometimes that I've moved on, and have lived 80% of my life without him but the little girl inside me hesitates to do so. In fact, there are times that I wish it's my birthday or it's Christmas so I would get a text from him. And when I'm deciding on something, I imagine what my dad would think about it. I was such a daddy's girl before he and my mom separated, but after that we lost communication and just reconnected after college and about 4 years ago that line has gone choppy.

I'm not really sure what my writing is about today, or why am I writing on the first place. But I just feel something... I can't pinpoint what that is but I know I'm feeling a void that only him can fill.

Maybe I just miss him, and maybe he misses me too (a girl can dream). But I really wish that everything will be well between us, in time. And I would really love to make up with all the time that we've lost. And I also wish that forgetting about something that we both did and didn't do is just as easy as SHIFT + DEL on the keyboard and no trace will be left, it'll be like it never even existed.

But I have no regrets in everything that ever happened to our family, it's like a beautiful mess. And I still believe that everything happens for a reason and everything has an explanation whether good or bad, it's just a matter of how you see life.

Off to Malta

I just came from a month-long vacation, and now I'm planning yet another vacation! I'm planning to visit Malta within the year (cross my fingers). I remember that during UN month on my first grade, I was asked to represent the country and I swore to myself that one day I'm going to visit the place. Actually, Malta was the second country I wanted to visit when I was just 6 years old, the first was Austria because I wanted to sing with Froilan Maria and the Von Trapp family singers! That was before I realized that I can never sing with them, not with this voice who can summon a storm! Anyway, I'm looking forward for this trip, this will mark 25th year of my existence on earth.

Sorry Blog

Dear Blog,

I am really sorry for taking you for granted. I know you've been there for me when I was feeling so down, you've been my shock absorber, you've listened to all my rantings and musings. And I'm sorry if I haven't been updating you with my whereabouts and whatnots. I know you kind of felt bad because I didn't share anything to you about my recent vacation, and the birthday post tradition that we tried to keep for the past 4 years. To tell you the truth, I tried forgetting you and tried befriending your little cousin name tumblr, but we just don't click. I tried to forget both of you at once but you see I failed. I know I did this to you a lot of times but I keep coming back and you keep letting me back in.

I just want to say thank you, and I promise to update you when I'm not tweeting. ☺

Lots of ♥♥♥,

(You can see that I'm sincere because of the tiny hearts that I put. ☺)

Kristin

Dare Day 1

It's already November and as I backtracked all my blog entries I only made a total of 21 as opposed to the 44 I had at this time of the year last year. It's not that I packed all my stuff up and lived in a cave, nor did I go backpacking in Mars. Blogging requires a lot of thinking but this doesn't necessarily means that all my posts made sense, it's just that tweeting is easier to do. Just spew words less than 140 characters and you're good to go. So I got into a dare with my friends that I'll be blogging every single day that I tweet. I'm not really sure if I'm up for this but the dare was already made so that left me with no choice.

And this is my first entry since the dare started, so please bear with the very sensible post that I'm making. I promise (again) I'll be better.

Sammie and Lexi are you happy now? Hahaha! Love you gels.

Dream, Dream, Dream

I have this recurring dream for the past 3 days. I'm always someplace where I've never been in real life. At first, the setting was in a forest, with foliages, and waterfalls, the place reminds me of the waterfalls in Puerto Rico where they filmed Wizards of Waverly Place the Movie. Then there's this guy, I don't know who he was because I can't see his face but I'm pretty sure he was a guy. He held my hand and ushered me near the falls, his touch felt so warm and safe. I felt like I know him forever and.. hate to say this but I felt like I love him. I can feel a connection between us. We never got to the falls because I woke up.

The second dream, we met again, in a beaten path on a cliff. This time I can almost see his face, just almost but I never got to see it. We talked about the things that we saw along the way, his voice doesn't sound familiar but I know that I could trust him. When we reach the top of the cliff he told me to stay close to him, because somewhere along the climb I know I told him that I have fear of heights. Then my alarm went off and I woke up again.

And in the third dream, I was on a secluded beach. I saw someone parasailing, and I knew that it was him again. I don't know how he did it but after I blinked he was right beside me. He told me that a little sunshine does me good. He asked if I want to go sailing with him or just lay on the sand. I said that I'd love it if we'll just stay on the hammock tied between the two coconut trees. He let me stay in the hammock, and I fell asleep (in the dream). Then my alarm went off again. Damn this alarm.

So last night, I decided not to set my alarm because there's a part of me that wishes to see him again and maybe see his face too. Lucky me, I didn't dream of him last night and I was almost late for work because I overslept, and because some pathetic loser DID NOT SET HER ALARM.